i smile at people because I am friendly. it’s a curse. i’m not overly happy and fake but I am courteous and amicable. even to people i don’t necessarily really want to be smiling at. perhaps it is see through. there are certain people who do not smile and they don’t even act like they just didn’t notice you smile at them. they watch you smile at them, look into your face and they refuse to reciprocate the action. i wish i could do that; i never would have fucking smiled at them in the first place. I don’t even like you! I just wasted a smile on you and now i’m pissed because had i known you were going to be an asshole, which is most likely why i don’t even like you, i would have just walked on by pretending to be in my own world. I can do that too.

i know that this bitch i smiled at can smile because she seems to get along just swimmingly with others. for some reason, it’s me she doesn’t warm up to. honestly, i should understand this because I’m a frigid recluse and there are about 3 people in the world that i’m warmed up to, and that took a solid 20-some years of work. also, her field of work is counseling! so for her to not give back a little upward lip is really her failing at her job. it’s one thing if you just suck as a person but when you also can’t play well with others at work, when you are the one preaching about playing well, then perish.

thats right, perish, rot, decay, die.

now, i’ll probably smile at you again because i am a silly asshole and suffering is my middle name. i’m sure i’ll get even more pissed off when you don’t return the gesture. let’s just see where this leads. sometimes i feel psychotically close to dish breaking tantrums and you’re just the sort of random person i may unbenouncingly rage on. it’s only 10am; i hope the coffee you bought gives you the runs.