spring means pedicure.

when Heidi visited in February we did the pedicure thing together; because I heard that is what girls do when they bond, so I tried it. Heidi is way ticklish and I really thought her Korean girl was going to get flung into the nail polish display. Unfortunately that did not happen and instead I got to see Heidi’s facial expression collage. A triptych non-verbal artwork entitled “excruciating”. While I was receiving a light pumice scrub accompanied by a minty tingle that made my legs feel the way my mouth does after some Crest Winterfresh, Heidi appeared to be getting a hot anal scrub. Her face went from red and squeezed to purple and open-mouthed. At one point she looked over at me, her body scrunched helplessly in the vibrating massage chair and left leg held hostage by Sado Scrubber and mouthed “oh my god *pant, pant*”, was she getting a pedicure or going into active labor? I think i saw her pray.
My pedicure, only 1 foot away from violent duress , was Baja Sunset–I had an entire 40 minute fantasy about being paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to name nail polish colors. I could dominate that field.