not for lack of inspiration have I not been blogging–there is almost too much to stop and think about. i’m almost afraid to stop and think about it. there has been some good, great even. there has been the muddle and then, of course, that broken bramble called Hell.
On June 9th, I went to the DMB concert. This year I stayed sober so as not to miss the concert by ambulance ride to ER. I’ve never been that girl before, I’m usually the drunk one that goes off to puke it off in the woods and come back for more. Not last year. A mix of 90 degrees, hours of tailgating on asphalt, beer, jungle juice, pot, xanax, no food or water and a medication that causes seizures fucked with me. Yeah, yeah, i deserved it. Luckily last years set list wasn’t this year’s. OH MY GOD.
having tickets that allow you to pass by 10 guards who each take a flashlight to the location line of the ticket, nod, and step aside to let you keep proceeding down the aisle TO THE 6TH ROW, is something I could learn to get used to.
Dave Matthews stood directly in front of me. I could practically smell his breath. Some deadbeats in Row 5 never showed so my 6th & center arrangement was sparse and loud. just the way i like it. I had to pee but every song that came on was too worthy. I finally had to bust to the bathroom when he started up Gravedigger. It was raining out. The day had a thick, humid gym towel around your neck feeling at about 93 degrees. the rain mixed with darkness and Dave’s knowing voice humming out “so that I can feel the rain” became one of those moments of peaceful content that come around about once a year, like Christmas or a Victoria’s Secret sale. Funny where these can strike–a line to the ladies room never made me so happy.
Today I am leaving for Pomona, CA., for a work conference. For 4 days I’ll be doing that, laptopless, and then I’m taking 6 days with a rented Focus to check out San Diego. Last night I packed for 3 hours. I’m scared that my suitcase will be very heavy and I’ll be charged an extra fee for its heft. Also, I’m scared that I don’t have enough. I don’t know how the hell to pack for this trip. It’s 73 in San Diego and hot as hell but work related in Pomona. Sigh.
I have to leave soon and i still have to pack my non clothes items. I just couldn’t go without telling you, my 5 readers, that I have not flown the coop entirely. Wish me luck in Cali.
I don’t have the kind of boyfriend that recipricates dinner.
If/when i make dinner on any and every given night there is never any manifestation that i will receive a dinner on my behalf. That would be nice but it is not required. It does seem like common courtesy though, doesn’t it?
I do not give to get.
moving on….
tonight didn’t really feel like a cooking night…or a cleaning night. so..
i dug into my old recipes and pulled out an old time favorite. cheap wine and popcorn ala. at $3.49 a bottle and, well, a nearly illegal supply of Orville from Costco that probably equates to about .7 cents per bag (our box-o-popcorn actually expired in August 07′ but we’ve nearly gone through the entire box now. I will probably blog my incredible success the day i get through that…it’s been years in the making)
Good popcorn
Good wine
Good God
Lets dine
footnote: oh, and the wine was purchased from KMART. ya folks, i’m the real deal
There was quite a crowd. Men in suits and men in gym shorts. People smacking gum and blatantly ignoring the ‘no cell phone’ rule. Ignorance never felt so apparent.
But then he was on stage, barefoot and smiling. He spoke about compassion and affection, he spoke about self-discipline.
The ignorance surrounding me was not for me to judge; if I wanted to be happy in my moment with the Dalai Lama I would need to choose to be happy.
One of the first things he said was “I am happy.” You fully trust and believe him. He said he wasn’t a healer and he doesn’t believe in them, itching at the back of his head he chuckled about his skin disease and remarked how he wouldn’t have it if he were able to heal himself.
The Dalai Lama has never taken a bath! This is his contribution. When he leaves a room he turns the light off.
As he spoke this I thought to myself, how elementary and basic. Everyone knows that they are supposed to do those things; turn the water off when brushing your teeth, close the refrigerator door… where is the profound wisdom?
It was there. I, in my infinite quandary of problems, had overcomplicated matters.
This man wasn’t going to sit lotus style and meditate the earth to pristine majesty. His answer was that he conserves water by not using it for bathing in a tub and when he isn’t using a room he simply switches off the light. Simple and true. This is what he can do, personally, and that is good. He is happy with this. Pollution is everywhere, natural resources are depleted, violence is surging, the gap between rich and poor is as broad as ever–our problems are overwhelming. We don’t know where to start to stop the madness. Choose one thing and do it well. I was making it too complicated because it is so complicated and in the mess of chaos one becomes indifferent. I was making myself as big as the problems themselves, taking myself too seriously. All you need to do is choose what you can do and then–do it.
Crisler Arena was steaming hot. There had to have been about 10,000 people all warming up to their own enlightening experiences. The Dalai Lama continued to converse with us, as if we were house guests coming over for a bit of lunch and tea. He entertained himself and laughed heartily after accidentally calling himself a Christian. “Obviously, I’m Buddhist,” he smiled out at the crowd and finished his thoughts about ecology and sustainability. “If this is interesting to you learn about it and experiment. If it isn’t you can go forget about it.” He gave a mighty laugh at this, waved his hands in a shoo motion and then bowed.
It was an experience I’ll remember forever.
a place on earth you need to visit is Treasure Mart in Kerrytown, Ann Arbor. I’m sure it isn’t in 1,000 Places To See Before You Die, which is a shame on Patricia Schultz.
Treasure Mart is a market crammed with necessities for your home, life and valuables to pass along after your death. Tables are riddled with magnificent finds. A fine painting could rest next to a tea cup, a bronzed horse could be brandished next to a sequined fur coat–you’ll need to wear your prescription lenses to this place because you could find anything anywhere!
Just look what I found.
“After a celestial day of praying to Jesus about her elongated limb syndrome (ELS), Angela rested her eyes and dreamed she was a demon train whore”
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